Every once in a while I let my hair down and paint mushy pictures. ;) Last year I was on a mush spree around the valentine's day because of several writing contests. But, this year with the incentives missing, I gave the mush season a miss too.
To those, whom I might shock with the mush that is going to sweep this post, you can read some of the stories I wrote last year -> Here: The Chirping Chick!
Thanks to parwana
for pulling me out of the hiding.
Thanks to angiasaa
for the Balloons [How did you know I LOVE balloons?] and the gentle push to post an entry, you were missed too.
Thanks to *AG*
for the not so gentle pushes and I am hoping that finally, his highness would leave a few words on this post.
Thanks to all you wonderful people to put up with my continual absence. I will make up for the time (and posts) I have lost offlate in the coming days. :)
NOTE: The first person narrative doesn't suggest anything. I hope you'll enjoy the write though. :)
You, yes you it is I am writing about tonight. I always had words for you, about you but there are words which have become you. It is but just another day's story.
I live life these days like a movie made of jumping frames, each more beautiful than the previous one. Or maybe that is an illusion too because when the older frames return again, from the collage of memories, they appear more beautiful than before. In sepia, in black and white, in mellow warm pastel shades, in shocking fun hues, in a milieu of rainbows, these days I enclose the entire world within me. It is resolute, and, the feeling of being whole encompasses every other trivial emotion. You smiling – toothy, mischievous or loving, you frowning upon the mundane or important, you with the dazed look frozen on your face, eyes lost - trying to find the “why” of some distant thought, it is all about you - the frames that whoosh by me as I close my eyes.
And, then you talk to me in a broken, slightly sore baritone. I like how my voice sounds against yours, like a rising crescendo, when we both try to speak at the same time. I love it when we both laugh together, and I realise how my voice must have been like unaccompanied vocals without the deep bass base, until you and yours filled the void. To me it feels like a brush of the rough against the soft, really.
It comforts me to know that I can comfort you. That probably, only I can give all your childhood dreams back, and you would believe in all the fairytales of hope and faith and trust and magic. I want you to go back in time and find that self of yours who believed that everything in this world is beautiful and nothing can ever go wrong. I want you to build castles in air again, dream a new dream everyday. I want you to know, someone is there to take care of you and no matter what, she would turn every wrong right for you if need be. Just believe, just know, just let yourself float in this space, shoot for the stars if you wish to.
So, after all the play, when the kid comes home, I want him to bring me back stories from his day; I want him to splash colourful tales on me; as I absorb his ecstatic and beatific energy. I want to watch him in frames again, in awe, everyday. And then, as I am watching him yet, I want to blow beautiful dreams to his dazzling zealous eyes. When silence and fiery peace of the night engulfs us, I want to sing to him, only plain songs. Simple and childlike, just like him. I want the kid to close his eyes and drift off to sleep, to wake up to only me and warm sunny mornings.
Why can’t I fall asleep baby as you sleep?
If there were reasons less, I might have shared
Should I tell you about the ardour and the cares, in my heart that gently seep
Or how I wish to kiss you on your forehead, but I would not have dared
For I wish to watch you sleep, breathing slow
Your limp fingers curled around mine, still, as I hold on
If only you could see, how I lie by your side, wrapped in a warm glow
How can I take my eyes away from something so golden and brawn?
It is then that I wish to live for you and not me
It is then I fear the dawn and not the dark
It is then I realise, it is us and not I or He
It is then that I don’t wish to fall asleep, ever again, only if you would sleep right next to me
From now, always.