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March 30th, 2011

All Eccentric

 For those who know, this a dark monologue fiction going trying to reminisce my fav writing genre on Sulekha.

***

Don’t we all have a picture in our heads about who we are? For example, I would like to be calm  and strong at all times. No anxiety. No fear of defeat. No fear of loneliness.

If you believe in your image for long enough, you do become some of it. But rest of it is waiting to be accepted as it is. No delusions.

Discomfort. Uneasiness. I have been dealing with them for a while now. For some moments everything bothering me seems trivial and distant. In a couple of hours, the monsters arise again, lifting their heads and lounging  around my soul.

Black

Cold

Uncertain

Heavy

There is peace in it too, then there it is not. They told me when you get too close to the cause you can’t see through the problem, no matter how hard you try. No matter however you escape it, it lies low only for a while.

Time moves, people change - for themselves and for others, they are eccentric, you are eccentric!

You believed in their truths and lies, now you can’t tell it apart. They didn’t know who they were, until now. I’m glad, I was part of the process which helped them know themselves better.

But what if I desire more than that. Let this stay here for a while longer.

Time moves, people change - for themselves and for others, they are eccentric, you are eccentric . And like it is the law of nature, we’ll belong to a B n W past, where every memory will be tainted as happy or sad, right or wrong, truths or lies.

There I see, how trivial it will look in the hindsight. I also see rainbows and fireworks in the black night sky. The monsters have been put to sleep for a while I guess.

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