Punk Princess (pun_princess) wrote,
Punk Princess
pun_princess

You don't know me...

I have always held a grudge against growing up. The peter pan belief is so much more comfortable. All of a sudden I am this Post Graduate student and it seems I need to grow up in a spurt. Like I was asleep all of this while - stunted in a good way, lost in a right-out-of-adolescence phase and someone woke me up only for me to find  that years have passed by. Thus, the need to catch up on it.

Of all the strangest things, the knowledge that is s'pposed to enlighten me and bring depth to my thoughts, is, instead making the world seem so hollow. It's like believing in the fairytale of love and one fine day finding it to be nothing but a "system" which is balanced on fine threads of need, chiselled by careful selection criterion, even if subconscious.

This reference has nothing to do with the lectures but the insight one gets from meeting different people. I would so love to vanquish anything called rationality and science from my mind right now and instead trust my intuitions, hold on to faiths that are (stupid) and baseless.

This is coming from someone who has always been blamed of being too rational.

As days more pass by, I want to keep things about me to myself. Not because I can't trust, but I have just grown so protective about everything that makes me what I am, I would rather be another shadow in the night adding to the darkness than the light at the end of the tunnel.

As Clareece "Precious" Jones said, "Some folks has a lot of things around them that shines for other peoples. I think that maybe some of them was in tunnels. And in that tunnel, the only light they had, was inside of them. And then long after they escape that tunnel, they still be shining for everybody else. "

I pray, I be one of the fireflies that glows within.
Tags: firefly, i, life, me, mine, myself, people, precious, preoccupied
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